Froggy & the Chic with Thick Thighs.

Once upon a time there lived a gentleman sic gentlefrog by the name Froggy( You know it’s going to be fire when a story starts with Once upon a time huh?….) Now Froggy did not grow up Rich, neither did he grow up poor. His family owned or rather had to its name a sizable amount of the communal pool where all the frogs resided and did their thing from, you know, like  crocking endlessly at cows that did not give a hoot haha.

While Froggy loved his Family especially his kid bro Tod. He simply couldn’t wait to do the Leap of freedom where he would venture off and meet other amazing Frogs from other pools. He had heard tales about the lasses from the Pools from Central with their petite frames, the plus size Frogs from the streams leading to the lakeside. Aah you guy my guy….he simply couldn’t wait!

He eventually became of age and his parents wished him well and warned him to be careful out there. Sipangwingwi was endlessly playing in his head hahaha! He couldn’t wait to be bid goodbye.They did, and off he was.

Froggy decided he would head to the lakeside first, well … for obvious reasons. The journey was not easy, especially in the sweltering sun.He would take cover under fallen leaves and literally anything. So committed was he that he actually got to the lakeside. Boy was he beside himself! The beauty and splendor of the lakeside was truly alluring. Being an amiable guy he made friends easily. 

Got invited to parties and he had the time of his life. Thoughts like; this is where I belong started to sprout. I could totally get used to this, he self affirmed. Ambitions of touring pools around the country started to escape his mind as he slowly but surely got used to the party life of the lakeside.

One day with his new mates, they strolled into an affluent human compound and Froggy was bemused by the spectacle! Rumor had it that human pools were cleaner and a party there would be LIT AF! If you don’t know any of that language, get yourself abreast with the latest froggy lingo my good old pal haha! Anyways they jumped into this pool and picture how Kenyans use Kermit to illustrate what they will be upto on holidays that fall on a Friday. You don’t know Kermit the frog? Wewe husaidiki my fren. 

It was going down, banging as usual when one of Froggy’s pals noticed the pool starting to warm up! He was like guys, this is not normal we should bail. Froggy, holding lakeside’s finest, crooned, ‘easy pal, its like you don’t like good sh*t huh?! This is the LIFE; La Vida Loca my G’. Obongita almost did not recognize Froggy in that particular instance. The temperature however gradually kept increasing. Obongita lept out and since he was the de facto party leader er.. I meant crew leader… the others followed. (LOL its the campaign period over here and political parties rhetoric is all over)

Froggy convinced the lass with Thick thighs (I know you are thinking about Bien’s latest banger haha)  to stick around and not mind them cowards.

She did for a minute but after a while she too jumped ship. Froggy did backflips in the relatively now warm pool and sat in a corner and even had the nerve to doze off. You would be forgiven to think he actually owned the mansion.

Turns out this was a Jacuzzi and the owner who started to heat it up forgot to regulate and the temperature kept rising. Froggy kept lying to himself this was awesome till it wasn’t and by the time he tried to leap out he was wasted and he was almost cooking up. I know you love good endings but this is not one of those stories. Hot water, drunk frog from upcountry the odds were stacked against him. The last thought that crossed his mind before curtains closed on him …. I  really should have jumped with the lass with thick thighs mahn!! I am such an idiot!! 

I really don’t want to draw parallels today mahn, nor do I want to be philosophical. If you think this is a little story about a frog and had a chuckle here and there at my weak attempts at humor sure….However If you also think this was about settling and getting comfortable when you shouldn’t then you Sir/Madam should be knighted!

I have been off the Keyboard for over six Months and I feel terrible man! It’s inexcusable and If you dear reader can find it in your heart to forgive my lazy self then I will keep banging out even the most short stories/musings just to keep the boat afloat.