The keyboard and I have an abusive relationship, it’s toxic and the toxicity surprisingly comes from me. I have stories for days in my head but I’d rather they just bubbled in my head until they fade into the abyss of incoherence and forget. I want to claim it’s time and that between managing my businesses and family and the shenanigans life has been throwing at me, that I have no time for it but truthfully I know that’s nonsense. Anyways, I am devising ingenious ways of straightening this relationship of ours. Clear lines of communication, spend more time with it, watch a mov… wait I am getting carried away with this apology of absence haha!
About two and a half years back, I decided to pick up jogging. I tasked my wife to go thrift shopping for some training gear. Of Course I checked the price of new gear and my exact sentiments were, no way I am spending that much on a new habit I am not sure will stick or not. Boy do I know myself well, three or four months in, I gave up. Only to rekindle my dalliance with that healthy habit early 2022. I will not rekindle my love affair with the keyboard to lie to you that jogging or if you like morning runs are fun, no they are not!
The first hurdle is the discipline to wake up consistently pretty early, that resolve was tested a good one on the chilly drizzly mornings. Somewhere along the way I discovered the jogging sessions were some sort of therapy session. A me vs me type of situation. Those situations ain’t fun either man. You want a situation where you can get out on a technicality , a white lie here or there, but NO! In those sessions I was to confront my deepest worries, resolutions and decisions and dissect them piece by piece till some sort of headway is found.
I quickly noted my three Kilometers route was not serving me – well therapy was ending too soon hehe, in short I tricked my brain into enjoying this. So I doubled it to six, then 9 and by the time I lied to myself that I could go against our brothers from the rift valley I was doing 15kms in under an hour and 10 minutes. That stupid thought should have remained in my unconscious brain and not develop into a full blown course of action.
So I did register myself into a race, just because the header is a marathon doesn’t mean I ran THE MARATHON, no, about a week to the race I looked at my statistics and I was not impressed. Tried to do something about it and realized genetics did not give a crap about my whims. So I adjusted my sails to the 10km race. My consolation was, since the marathon and half marathon were well prized, the big boys will participate in those and let me shine in the 10K. Hahaha!
Oh by the way, the race was back in my neighboring village, Lunza hosted at the expansive Mwale medical and technology city (MMTC) , something I again lied to myself that would work in my favor being born and raised in Butere and all. LIES! Punishing December diary notwithstanding, I showed up and our race was slated for 11;30 am, but eventually happened at noon and nothing had prepared me for what was coming.
Everything I had trained for, the time taken, terrain, time of day were all invalid and scored against me! In the sweltering Lunza sun, by the time I was negotiating the first corner which was about 300m from the start line, that was the last time I interacted with the first lot.
Then the bunch I was with started peeling away step after step. Goodness, I did not even stand a chance against the women! By the time we were doing 3kms, I started doubting if my Samsung fitness app had been feeding me with correct intel during my morning runs.
The sun was hot, the terrain super punishing and I am a spitter while running, I ran out of saliva. Luckily we hit the first watering point about 5kms in. Felt nice grabbing a 500ml bottle from the marshals. Felt like I was in Berlin or a London race, exactly how I had started to see myself during training hahaha! I have an active imagination and that’s reckless I must admit. It’s at this point that I started tapping into the soul of the universe.
Wisdom started flowing within me, self critique ensued and boy did I hand myself a beating.
Top on my new found wisdom list was that you can animate yourself all you want about how good you are at something but for crying out loud, test yourself against others. You will know for sure you are really good or that you should shut up.
Life is a marathon! Duuuh Joel you didn’t know that!? Of Course I did, it took me participating for the point to crystalize. Do not burn your energy early on, or on one hill as there will be many hills to climb till the finish line. Takeaway: You are probably not as good as you think you are, ouch!
You know how marathoners are super skinny? My 68.5kgs ass came off as an obese among these chaps. Hence my next vital takeaway: Travel light! Minimize your baggage on the journey that is life. Everything is presenting itself as an excuse to slow you down. Side step the bullshit and minimize your load as much as you possibly can, then you have a chance of showing up at the finish line.
I was certain that I would finish this race at around 8 going 9kms. This lady that we had been going at each other from the beginning decided to dig within and engaged a gear I doubt I was born with. I tried to keep up and decided, you know what, we are among the last ones anyways, does it matter if I pulled up before her, truthfully I may have felt slightly better but because I am not a sexist and if a girl is good at something then she is damn good. Whatever good number I pulled, credit goes to that lady. She was my pace setter and I hers. You can’t run alone hommie, was the lesson. You will need company on this sojourn of ours. That company better be not too much or too less for you, just about enough to keep you out of your comfort zone, push you sometimes and whoop your ass like she did towards the end a couple of times in between, but company is a must!
When I did finish the race eventually, I was not certain which number I was because of complacency on the marshals side at the finish line, we however had 33 registered people for the 10k and I pulled in number 21(I think), and it didn’t matter! What mattered was that I actually ran and finished a 10k race in the harshest conditions I had ever exposed my body to and that gave me major exhilaration. There and then, I knew that experience would push me back to the Keyboard. It was profound in the sense that none of the lessons were new to me, but found new ways to speak to me. Let us meet next year, same place, same time, same race we see what lesson you pick for yourself hahaha!
No responses yet