BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND – A KING GRIFFIN’S TRIBUTE

Not always the studious type, never have been really, save for a few random moments back in Chavakali high school when I was trying to make head or tail of the Mole concept. My lackluster relationship with books has been ongoing for the most part of my adult life till I threw a self-intervention.  Had been meaning to read Stephen R.Covey’s 7 habits of highly effective people for the longest time, something always came up and the moment just never right. I eventually picked it up, coincidentally right about the same time my late friend and I developed a meaningful friendship. The second habit; Begin with end mind gripped my attention, I will share an excerpt for context….

In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music.

You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there. As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. As you take a seat and wait for the service to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended – children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speaker is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of what you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where you’ve been involved in service.

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?  

I was shaken to the core! Believe me I was not ready for that twist either. This left me with a lot of questions including but not limited to, who the hell does Stephen R. Covey thinks he is!!? Challenging the very foundation of my existence like that!! To be honest I had not viewed my life or life in general from that perspective at all and to say the least I was dumbfounded.

Life has a funny way of twisting and turning, see how you hear about someone and make your own prejudices about him/her and then you meet them and wonder how limiting our preconceptions can be. I had heard loads about Bungoma Youth connect, supporting this activity or advocacy for the other and kept wondering who was the mastermind behind this group. When I eventually met him, he was nothing like I expected. There is this hubris that comes with folks who have accomplished something, I can pick it from a mile, and I tried to pick a whiff of it off Griffins in vain. He was Jocular and unassuming, he carried himself with ease and so approachable. I remember muttering to myself that I should try and be like that ha-ha, many a time I have been described as a not so approachable person, I felt wrongfully adjudged till I met him and was like oh… the naysayers probably might be onto something.

We would exchange on many issues, governance, community, some cheeky memes here or there till the day he dropped the big one on me. Joel, I think you should apply for the MWF (Mandela Washington Fellowship). I quickly dismissed him on this, I was of the opinion MWF was for folks like him, involved in all manner of Community policy and advocacy. He was steadfast, I am serious Joel, among the youthful entrepreneurs, and I see no one from this region more qualified. With that kind of pep talk and affirmation especially coming from someone I felt their opinion mattered, I went through with the application. It was the most daunting application I have ever made in my life, anyone who has ever gone through it will tell you that it’s not funny when you are told to describe yourself in 3rd person. I mean, it’s hard generally describing yourself and now the good folks at MWF wanted me to describe myself from another person’s perspective.

Three sleepless nights later I was done with it, Kenyan style of course, as close to the deadline as possible. Now the agreement was that before hitting the send button I will have him proof read it and point out any inconsistencies in my story. I sent it to him, by the time he was reverting to me, giving me the go ahead to hit send, we were late! I was furious!! We both had not read the fine print of the application mail, it was to be due by 4.00 pm GMT and not 12.00 am as we are used to. Griffin’s effort to assuage me hit a wall for the first 2 days after October 9th 2019. I was mad that, him being in these YALI and MWF circles, he should have known but you can’t be mad at the King for long, he found a way to mollify me. I promised to try the next time albeit reluctantly.

Fast forward to January 27th 2020 when he made a Facebook post that he had been admitted at Machakos Level 5 hospital. I didn’t think much of it, I knew the champion that he has always been will overcome. So you can imagine waking up to the news of his passing on Wednesday morning! I felt terrible! And could only imagine how those super close to him felt. A series of projects that were in the pipeline, what ifs and what could have been; crossed my mind and I was distraught at the very thought that they were never going to happen. Our friendship lacked intentionality especially on my part, as I had never met his parents despite him being originally from Butere like myself. I choked on the many things we were to do but never really came around to do because I played the busy cat. I shed a tear or two, and I swear I couldn’t care less about gangster points.

I knew for sure and without a shred of doubt that the King lived a well-rounded life, however nothing had prepared me for how he had managed to scale his love and care! I was awed at the outpouring of love and support from friends, colleagues and family! And through this all one thing kept beckoning, the excerpt that I shared earlier. The King once disclosed to me that he had read the book, and I am willing to bet that he lived by its code, and just like the Book was Stephen’s Magnum Opus, Bungoma Youth Connect is Griffin’s. A Group of diligent young minds full of exuberance and willing to keep shining the King’s torch even in his absence.

During the last night’s vigil at his father’s compound and the burial ceremony at KMTC grounds speaker after speaker would say beautiful things about the King and throw in a challenge to the youth to emulate Griffins, I couldn’t help but think how the challenge was upon us all. We laid our dear friend to rest, those who shared intimate memories broke down and couldn’t help the thought of saying the final goodbye.

As I reflect upon my very existence and life in general I keep swinging back to that very excerpt from Stephen’s book. How many of us really worry about the legacy we leave behind? How would we like to be commemorated? If there is anything certain in this life, is the very fact that we all have an expiry date and that no one really knows when. So, how about we align our very existence to how we would like those in our circle of influence to remember us.

I have my lessons drawn from the King’s life. I have vowed from now henceforth to live with some bit of intentionality, appreciate, savour every passing moment and to engage meaningfully. You don’t have to have known Griffin’s to also draw these lessons, truth is we live under the fleeting assumption that our time on earth is unlimited and yet it’s not. I will strive to live for something other than myself as I have come to realize that is truly the only way to live.

Shine on your way KING.